Friday 14 June 2013

Go go Gadget!

I have come to the conclusion that at some point, unwittingly and unknowingly, I opened a high interest current account with The Bank Of Mum. You know the one, with the slogan that goes 'Bank Of Mum - bleed me dry'.

I have no recollection of initiating dealings with this financial service, but then again, I have been known to sleep walk. When I asked mum about this, to see if she could pin point the exact moment when this arrangement began, her answer was a short one - 'birth'.

Mysterious pay packets are dropped in at an embarrassingly regular rate, overdraft charges are waved, debts are overlooked and the emergency breakdown cover is second to none. Not to mention the complimentary counselling service!

However there is a downside, when I signed up to all this I failed to read the small print and, as with most things, there is a catch.

Every hole in the wall belonging to this bank is wired up, every online transaction sends a direct signal and all the personnel staff have the entry code straight to my conscience. Oh the guilt! With every single penny, so willingly and graciously given, I feel a little worse. A ritual has been born, every 'more funds please' text message is accompanied with a silent promise and they all begin the same way: 'When I'm rich I'll...'
And I bloody well mean it too!

This year The Bank Of Mum decided to reward its customer with a highly unexpected bonus, god only knows why - you would think it would be trying to deter my custom! The bonus came in the form of an iPad Mini. It's so pretty, and sleek and smart and oh so very very pretty. And it fits in my handbag!

I still cannot quite believe it. It makes makes everything so much easier; I can now type up my blog on the go without having to drag my laptop around with me or trying to do so using my dis-functional mobile phone, who has had a screw loose since the last dropping. Don't get me wrong, I like a bit of character in any piece of electrical equipment but she really does go to pieces at the simplest of tasks. Needless to say the Blogger app is a step to far for her.

To co-inside with this generosity I have also received an investment from The Bank Of Dad. Again, an establishment you may be familiar with. Of the structured, secure variety; contributor to regular student funding during my university days which kept my head firmly above the water, provider of a wonderful musical practices budget and donator of lump sum gifts during the festive period.

I approached The Bank Of Dad recently to pitch my request for an investment in the shape of a camera to use to photograph my knitting antics.

Following a little negotiation, where I must admit I used the 'very early Christmas present?' tact, I received the nod. Backing from The Bank Of Dad was achieved and I am now the proud owner of a Panasonic Lumix DMC-T210.

Yellowy, darkened, pixilated and fuzzy photos of knitting projects will prevail no more!

So I now carry more technology than I do wool (and that's saying something). I am a fully kitted out blogging whiz kid! Or, at least, I have no excuse not to be.

To top it all off The Gentle Giant has whisked my elderly and, I'm ashamed to admit, beaten laptop to work, doused her in I.T magic and returned her to me a new woman. However, it is clear that I will never be forgiven for the high impact unopened 2 litre bottle of Pepsi Max incident. Even The Gentle Giant, as technically brilliant as he is, cannot heal scars that run that deep.

Not only has he given my laptop the ten years younger make over, The Gentle Giant has also been working away behind the scenes making on-going improvements to my blog, aesthetic alterations are always underway and he carries out all sorts of clever things to achieve a higher ranking in google. I have no idea how any of it works and wouldn't know where to begin!

So thank you so much Mum, thank you very much Dad, thank you very much to The Gentle Giant. I am a very lucky girl to have so much support and I hope to make you very proud... When I'm rich I'll..... Oh you've heard it all before!


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